Day 5: Crispity, Crunchity Chips!

Chips. America's favorite snack food. Anyone who has ever ripped into a bag of Dorito's or Lay's knows what I'm talking about. That aroma; that taste; that crunch. Chips are one of man's greatest food endeavors. But which are the best? Stick around; I'll give you my top picks, plus one ultra special Super Chip that you're sure to ignore and never purchase!

#3: Lay's Salt and Vinegar Chips: While these summer classics may not appeal to those with a more sensitive palate, they provide the perfect edition to a nice turkey sandwich and a glass of lemonade. With the tart, tangy flavor of vinegar in every chip, these babies pack a wallop that will knock your taste buds senseless...but in a good way!

#2: DISCONTINUED Dorito's Fiery Habanero: Who likes spicy things? Why, 80% of Americans, that's who! Have you ever eaten a raw Habanero pepper? I have, and let me tell you; these chips are a welcome relief after you have scorched your mouth with the world's hottest pepper. Thankfully, they've toned down the heat and added a little flavor to these powerful tortilla chips. Warning: Not for the faint of heart. They are still available at some specialty stores.

#1: Rusty's Island Chips: A strange choice, but nevertheless, a delicious pick! Rusty's chips provide the taste of the original Saratoga Crisps (the first chips invented), just a little salted and moderately oily. If you want a classic, potato chip journey like you remember from when you were a kid (that is, if you were a kid in the 1900's), these chips are the perfect pick for you!

Bonus Chip: NOT A CHIP?? In 2005, a couple named Mike and Liz started a blog about a special french fry they’d found at McDonald’s. The fry, which they had dubbed the Lincoln Fry, featured a near perfect profile of the sixteenth president as seen on the common penny. It was also seen in an “amateur” commercial during that year’s Super Bowl XXXIX.Of course, the story was completely fabricated. It was concocted by McDonald’s as a viral marketing campaign and the Lincoln Fry itself was made from polyurethane plastic. That didn’t stop GoldenPalace.com from purchasing the 4-inch french fry for a nationwide tour alongside the “Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich.” The casino secured the world’s most expensive french fry at auction for $75,100. Proceeds from the Yahoo! auction went to Ronald McDonald House charities.

Day 4: What the Cheese???

I've never been a huge fan of the refined milk product known as cheese, but I do know one thing: the common conception that cheese was fermented in a goat bladder while an Ali-Baba-esque person crossed the desert is false. The enzymes in a goat bladder do not ferment cheese; it is more likely that the ancient Israelite people stored milk in wineskins, which caused the cheese to curdle. This means that the first type of cheese was (you guessed it) cottage.
There are more types of cheese than nearly any other food, beating out even the widely-used pasta. But which types of cheese are "best"?

#3: Tillamook Sharp Cheddar: As a last-minute party person, I usually put off snacks until the guests are scratching at the door to the kitchen. Nothing pleases a hungry crowd better than crackers and cheese. I find that a sharp cheddar is enjoyed by kids and adults alike, and Tillamook knows their way around a curd.

#2: Applegate Farms American Bleu: How about a little blue? Cheese, that is! While this cheese is given its appetizing flavor by the addition of MOLD, the more adventurous among us have tried it and found it to our liking! With a mild creamy flavor followed by a heavy dose of bitter cheesiness, it makes a great topping to sandwiches and salads!

#1: Tillamook Pepper Jack: Nothing is better than a nice grilled-cheese sandwich. But why is it that this dish eventually gets boring? Because we need to shake it up a little! Slice a nice, big hunk off a block of Tillamook Pepper Jack and add a little spice to that toasty treat!

Bonus Cheese: One expensive cheese is only produced at one farm and at a very specific time of year. Unusually, the cheese isn’t made from cow’s milk—the milk comes from moose! Moose House, a 59-acre moose farm located in northern Sweden, is where the cheese is produced from three foundling moose named Gullan, Haelga, and Juna. The moose are unusually tame, which is the only reason Moose House owners Christopher and Ulla Johannson can collect milk for the cheese. Even then, they can only be milked between May and September and the process takes about 2 hours per animal, hence the outstanding price of the cheese. The moose cheese is 12% fat and 12% protein and only about 660 lbs are produced annually. The Johannsons sell it to high end Swedish hotels and restaurants for about $500 per pound.

Day 3: Where Can I Get a Good Burger?

Many of you have probably asked this question before! Well, fear not, noble Phreak, for I have a menu of places where you can grab a tasty burger to please the palate and satiate that craving!

#3: Carl's Jr./Hardee's: This widely-known burger place began as a delicious burger stop. Now a bustling burger metropolis, it offers a wide selection of different burgers, most of which include a McDonald's/Burger King/A$W rarity: mustard. The downside? Too many selections wobble their focus a bit. While their burgers are passable, none of them are remarkable in the least, and it doesn't carry a wide array of toppings like our next two choices!

#2: Fuddruckers: Step through the door into an 80's style diner and discover what a "burger buffet" is. Walk up to the register, order your burger size (comes in 1/3 pound, 1/4 pound, 1/2 pound, 3/4 pound, and the astounding 1 pounder), pick to add cheese, bacon, or other meaty toppings, decide to add fries, a soft drink, or a shake, and then grab some complimentary peanuts on the way to your table. They'll cook your burger the way you order it, and when they bring it out, you can grab it and put all the toppings you want on it form the topping bar! It includes a wide variety of conventional and unconventional toppings, from tomatoes to banana peppers! The downside? Price. There isn't one burger on the menu under six dollars, and these do not include fries or a drink. Meals are 8 dollars on up.

#1: Five Guys Burgers and Fries: My personal favorite (and apparently America's, as it has received rave reviews and several Fast-Foot awards)! Whoever these Five Guys were, they knew what was going on in burger town! First, order your burger and decide how many patties you want. Then, add cheese and bacon, and then tell them what toppings you want on your burger! That's right: they offer a HUGE selection of fresh toppings for your burger, rivaling the produce section at your local Safeway! Just tell them what you want, and they'll top it themselves for no extra charge! Why is Five Guys so good, you may ask? I'll tell you: sparsity. Their menu consists only of burgers, fries, hot dogs, and drinks, giving them plenty of time to focus on the few items they do have and make them super great! The down side? There is none! Five Guys is the nation's foremost burger joint, and has the credentials to prove it! Just check out their website: www.fiveguys.com

Bonus Burger Joint: Surprisingly enough, the most expensive burger in the world can be found at Burger King. Yes, this monolithic fast food giant has decided to live up to its name by producing the world’s most expensive burger. Simply called “The Burger,” this costly hamburger is available only at a West London branch of the restaurant. Luckily for those among you who’ll be taking your private jets to Burger King for lunch, The Burger can be pre-ordered by phone so you needn’t wait. The world’s most expensive hamburger is made, as usual, with Wagyu beef. It is also decked with white truffles, onion tempura prepared in Cristal champagne and some of Spain’s finest Pata Negra ham. All of this is presented in an Iranian saffron and truffle bun. The Burger is priced at £95 (about $186 US). While it has been derided as a cheap marketing stunt, proceeds from The Burger will benefit a local charity, Help A London Child. All things considered, I’d say it’s at least an expensive marketing stunt.